The Cow of Wisdom

My mother sent me a card the other day which reads like this:

Whenever you're uncertain
And you don't know what to do
The cow of wisdom always answers
Just chill out... and MOO

Right.

So this morning I was stood in my room after Becca and Plum had gone to lectures and I'm not joking, I was this close, THIS close to just standing there and MOOING.
Decisions, decisions. Oh, rar x

WHY AREN'T I DULL?

Was just looking at jobs in Belfast for when I go back, they all look shit, I won't be around long enough to please any employer...
I only wanted to wax my legs.
Someone please come along and make me bland and uncrazy so shelf-stacking can commence without mental risk rar, ah rah RAH.
Urgh no I really DON'T want a job, razor will have to do.

Ahoy

Call the cops